i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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