Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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