Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
