You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
