just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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