i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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