carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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