Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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