Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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