suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
