Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
