im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
