I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
