Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
