Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
