Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
