I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
either way he was missing a nipple.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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