i need an iv and a liver transplant
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
