That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Randomize
