Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
