we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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