Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
