no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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