the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
