She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
