I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
