His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
