The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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