Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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