Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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