I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He has the fingertips of a God
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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