Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
