I think I died a long time ago.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
