He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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