reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
