Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
