I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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