Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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