so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize