Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
