So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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