That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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