When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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