i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
