Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
