porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
