Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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