so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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