I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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