I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
