got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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