You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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