So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
